Heights

No more illusions, you’re definitely not a mirage

No more wolves in sheep’s clothing

The door was closing when you arrived

We live parallel lives but predicting alternate tastes

I’m on your carousel ride; Zen reins our mind states

You sedated my worries, I am no longer anxious

We fell in love in a hurry but our whole future awaits us

So I leapt off the ledge, descending full throttle

While violins play in my head; cuz no one loves you like I do

My heart was once hidden but you located a path

My trust, unforgiving but you unbroken the glass

The heights that I’d climb, just to get to your mountain

They say love takes its time but I must drink from your fountain

To merely sip your elixir…….just to bask in your presence

Taste your love like its liquor, a drunken stupor of reverence

These are the heights that my soul soars for you

Letting go of the frights just believing love is true.

Clearer Mirror

I am the hamster rolling along the proverbial circle

 Burning energy, reds, fuchsias, oranges and purples

My future is a light bulb lit on fire with ambition

A hovering halo, self imposed life sentence

The ladder to success is stymied by cumulus clouds

Someway somehow, I’ve got to pierce the veil beyond the shroud

I don’t want to talk….and definitely don’t want to listen

Avoiding, evading

Ducking the limelight, blissfully fading

Sporadically caring….it sputters, turning grey

Feelings might return, if they have something

Witty to say

 St. Augustine and Aristotle like to argue in my mind

Not sure why they do, since both are anointed and divine

I’d rather they’d recline and just sip some vintage wines

Not revisiting ancient crimes that have altered mankind……..

I live in my mind and my mind is where I live

But you don’t understand me, scratch your head from what I’ve said

My mirror reflects a question mark, a distorted image, a lifeless spark

Self esteem waving hi to a familiar face underneath the guise

I wipe the mirror back and forth

Searching for myself within the fog

Where’s my ambition lit by torch?

It’s somewhere congested, stifled, clogged

Then I remembered that the mirror has two faces

Like the Gemini that I am, with one mind sharing spaces

My appetite renders tasteless as I wander with slower paces

Destination unknown, dropping the mirror to tie my laces.

Fading Flower

When the sun was at its peak

And the clouds were all dispersed

You stole my heart just like a thief would steal an elderly woman’s purse

I gifted you my flower while my petals were in full bloom

But you overwhelmed me with power

Stopping the sun from reaching the room

My flower was happy and healthy, gently swaying in the wind

Until your fingers came along and plucked me

Instead of caressing, you made me bend

But my flower still had some dignity

I hoisted myself into the sky

Despite the arrogant seeds that you dropped in me

I still found the oxygen I need to survive

I was an innocent flower

Looking pretty and modest and such

But you smothered me with rain showers

Destroying my roots, it was just too much

Now I’m just a fading flower

Half alive but not quite dead

My petals are wilting by the hour

From the harsh words that you said

The beautiful thing about being a flower

Is that next spring I will grow again…..

Throwing Gauntlets

Spirals of recollections are spinning through my brain

I put my thoughts in different sections

But they still spell out your name

I point then you point, I object your every word

To understand it from my viewpoint, to you it seems absurd

Your voice can carry loudly, as if firecrackers are going off

My feelings are getting cloudy; the bright sunshine is getting sparse

Throwing heavy gauntlets they’re caving through my soul

Wondering…. do I really want this? New love, that’s quickly turning old?

Depression is your best friend; you understand it in many ways

Now it’s time I should step in… to pull you out your negative daze

Throwing heavy gauntlets, the kind that scrapes at your core

Wondering …do I really want this? New love, that’s letting out its roar?

I crawl across your battlefield bruised and feeling weak

Not sure how much my heart can shield or control its fragile beat

Throwing heavy gauntlets aiming at my chest, asking, do I really want this?

Maybe we should give it a rest.

Impressions Part I

His first impression lasted only a few short seconds

I rolled my eyes, prompting his switch in directions

I summoned my manners and nonchalantly apologized

Turning up my charms, somehow disarmed his disguise

He sauntered back confidently, with an erect stride

I observed him succinctly, designer shoes to sparkling eyes

His fragrance was flagrant as it percolated about

I sniffed in amazement, because his aroma was brazen

It awoken something in me that was hidden and latent

We small talked at first, just the basic chit chatting

Soon we became engrossed, his intrepidation was slacking

He walked me to my doorstep, not caring if I was married or kept

Giving me utmost respect, my apprehension abruptly left

His demeanor, Shakespearian

Not the average fish in the aquarium

I’m a dreamer, bordering delirium

He’s a fact finder, oh so contrarian

Fast forward:  now we’re lounging on the floor

Horizontally opposite, my feet facing the bedroom door

We continued commentary from the week before, then

Abruptly his back chasmed my hands volunteered to explore

As I was working on his spasm, he started to subconsciously relax

I’m sure he never fathomed his resistance would collapse

His wall left ajar, exposing remnants of his emotional scars

Could I piece together the shards? Or just let him strum his damaged guitar?

These were the impressions left after just a few brief sessions

It’s way too early to dissect the meanings or its lessons

But this short time knowing him has been a blessing

Aftermath Fiasco

Simple enough, very straight forward…. it’s a no brainer

We conspired to break our lust out of its stifling container

Your derogatory ways

 Persuaded my body into a purgatorious daze

So the day finally came… literally

 I finally realized an epiphany

When the soundtrack of our lust played vividly

Your sweat beads glisten all glittery

 But then the water balloon bust wide open

Word got around about our touching and groping

But our neatly laid plans made months in advance

Very meticulously…never in an avalanche

Were broken like a lightning struck branch

I was shocked out of my lust filled trance

Fuck, I might not get a second chance

But it’s the aftermath, the happenings afterwards

That leave me ass backwards, wanting to recalibrate my words

Now the Well is poisoned too many chemicals and whispers

Nosy neighbors and their sisters…. I wish they all break out in blisters….

Feelings

Feelings are simple things with simple needs, very similar to plants or flowers

It takes time and patience to grow them but some instances, they sprang up from nowhere

And sometimes even with your best effort they don’t grow at all

But in most circumstances if you nurture and feed them

With the right blend of timing and attention feelings will grow

And sprout long tentacles that envelope your thought process

They can grow so heavy that they lean on your cerebral cortex

Making you believe things you once thought was impossible

Feelings don’t care who feeds them, they don’t care who nurtures them either

They do their own thing with no rhyme or reason

Unlike flowers or plants that come with instructions, feelings don’t come with any directions

And even if they did come with a manual that you read carefully from front to back

There’s still a good chance that those feelings can betray you like a loyal pet

Feelings can spurn, manipulate or soothe you

 Depending on the person they decide to permeate

Similar to a rose, feelings can be beautiful but with thorns that prick when they decide to leave you

Feelings don’t care about wrong or right, they just grow wherever they see fit

And if you’re lucky enough, they will grow for somebody worth loving